By this time I was a little Jealous that Nathan was getting to see her and all I can do is hear her. I just wished they would hurry and bring her to me so I could look at and love on my baby. by the time they brought her to me, the pediatrician said, " looks like shes got a club foot and her left side is weak"... umm excuse me??? Just give me my baby, shes perfect to me. But of course I was worried that something was wrong. Nathan immediately said Shes fine, I saw her moving her left side just as much as her right. Whew,but her foot well both feet were turned in pretty bad, and like most newborns she had Jaundice. I did not care, I just wanted to hold her close to me forever.
Once I had her in my arms,I immediately knew the feeling everyone had told me about. I can't even describe the Joy I felt inside to finally have my little girl in my arms. I cried tears of Joy and I still do to this day when I just hold her in my arms and feel her warm body against mine. We are truly blessed to have our sweet little girl sent from above :)
So, I wanted to Breastfeed and made it clear before she was born. Of course they ran with it and were thrilled as the Base Hospital is all about Breastfeeding not so much about formula.( It's totally the mom's choice, but the breast is best... is what they preach) So from the moment she was born they had her on my breast. They all assured me right along with all the research that I did that she would be able to thrive off of my Colostrum until my milk came in. We couldn't quite figure out the whole breastfeeding thing. She didn't seem to be latching well, but they all insisted that I just keep trying and she would get it. So on Saturday the 29th they weighed her and she was down in weight 6lbs 3oz, which is to be expected in new babies who nurse they said. They continued to encourage the breast. I was happy at first that they were so helpful and supportive, but I was a little worried that she wasn't getting enough.
So finally were able to take our baby home, which was exciting and scary. That night we took turns sitting up with her and I would try and nurse her every two hours. We had to go back for a check up the next day. so we took her in around 9am that morning for what we thought would be a quick check up. They weighed her again and she was down to 5lbs 10z. They let us know that she was 14% below her birth weight and that anything above 10% wasn't great news. They also explained that her Jaundice numbers had increased and she needed to be under the Billie Lights ASAP for several hours, so they were going to have to readmit her to the hospital. I just wanted to cry and I believe I did.
While we were waiting on a room to come available, I again asked for help with mastering breastfeeding. They were super supportive and did everything possible to help me feed from the breast. They even placed a tube on my breast to help Stella get some formula and my milk that was starting to come in better. So I was able to stay at the hospital with her and continue to try and nurse her and pump. One of the nurses on call came in and said I needed to try and pump at least 15 ML to feed her every 1 and 1/2 to two hours... My Milk had still not come in all the way on Day 4 of her life, so I wasn't able to pump a whole lot. They still didn't encourage that I bottle feed her so they inserted a tube in her mouth that was taped to my boob and injected the little bit that I had pumped and a little formula in it every time it was feeding time. and when she wasn't feeding she was under the Billie Lights. All I wanted was to cuddle her. She looked helpless laying there.
By this time I was beyond exhausted I had maybe slept four hours since she was born four days prior. I felt so dehydrated and no matter what I couldn't seem to drink enough. Not to mention I felt like I had been hit by a Mac Truck all of my insides were so sore. Around 11 pm that night our current pediatrician came in to give a report which wasn't good news. She explained that after testing her labs several times it was clear that her Sodium levels were to high. She said with her being early and their facility not being able to provide the care she might need if this were to escalate, that she had arranged for her to be transferred to Loma Linda children's Hospital. ( over 2 hours away) and that an ambulance crew was on their way to get her. She said that they would keep her stable and slowly try to bring the sodium down but it was risky because if It came down to quickly it could cause brain swelling and seizures. You better believe I was a Hot Mess by this point :(
We hurried home to grab our things to last a few days and then headed back to the hospital. We met the ambulance crew as they were going in. They were rolling an incubator with wires and tubes and all sorts of monitors attached to it. My heart was so heavy, and my mind was racing. Our little girl who was born healthy wasn't doing so well. Thank goodness my mom and Nathan were there with me, they helped keep me glued together.
The ambulance crew were specialized in Neonatal care and assured us that she was in the best hands. They also told us there wasn't room for anyone to ride in the ambulance that we would just need to follow behind. I wanted to be with her so bad. But I also needed to rest and continue pumping.
Before they put Stella in the incubator they read her chart and checked her out. One of the Ladies immediately said this baby is STARVING and stuck a bottle of infamil in her mouth. Stella sucked it down like it was her last meal. ( This was the 1st bottle she had ). She also said , she should be drinking 60 ML every two hours. I was so angry BC we were told to make sure she was getting at least 15 ML every hour and half. So basically because she wasn't latching well and my milk had not fully come in she wasn't getting enough nutrition, which was the cause to some of her problems. I explained that we had committed to Nursing and that the bottle wasn't encouraged due to nipple confusion. She explained that she was well aware of that, and that she saw this problem all the time. She said, your baby was born early and doesn't have the amount of brown fat that other babies full term have. So she can't thrive as well as others who are waiting for moms breast milk to come in.
We were livid, Why weren't we informed of this from the doctors, and nurses? We were knew at this and had not expected our child to come a month early. But it was not the time to ponder this. Our baby was in need of medical care to improve her health...so we continued on. By this time my milk had finally started coming in so after she drank the bottle I tried nursing her again. Nothing changed with her labs so they decided to go ahead and take her to Loma Linda. We followed behind the whole way while I tried to pump as much as I could. Once we arrived it was around 4 am and None of us had slept a wink. We were like walking zombies.
Once she got in the NICU and all hooked up we were able to go in and spend a little time with her. Her Jaundice was still pretty bad so they continued with the Billie Lights. She had to have her eyes covered at all times under the lights. It was so difficult to see her with so many wires and tubes attached to her. But we kept reminding ourselves that she was in great hands and they were helping her get her strength and weight back up. I could only take her out to nurse her or feed her a bottle. All I wanted to do was just hold her and feel her warm skin against mine.
Every time we went in to see our Sweet Stella we could only go two at a time and we had to wear gowns and scrub our hands and arms for two minutes before entering the NICU part. It was heart breaking to see all those babies in there fighting to make it... Stella was considered in good condition compared to the others their. The Doctor explained that although Stella's situation was serious that compared to the other babies there It was like she had the sniffles which made us assured us she would be ok after a few days.
After arriving at 4 am we were suppose to meet with a Social worker to help get us a place to stay. This took forever and the waiting room was no place to sleep. One of the lactation nurses was trying to help me with nursing again and I literally feel asleep why she was talking to me. She immediately said you haven't slept in days, have you? I said no mam I haven't had a full nights rest in almost a week. So she made sure we rested a few hours in the NICU overnight room. Which was set up like a hotel room for parents. We caught a few hours of rest before we finally got to go to our Hotel.
I hated being away from my baby, but I knew she was in good hands and we needed to rest. Not to mention I had to wake up every three to fours hours to pump. My milk had finally completely came in that Monday night on Day 5 after Stella's Birth. No lie I looked like Dolly Pardon :) ....
Each day Stella kept getting stronger and gaining more weight. We would wake up and head to hospital to be there for visiting hours every day. I would give them all the milk I had pumped to add to her supply. She was soo tiny and seemed so fragile laying their under the lights. Nathan and I would just stare at her and touch her warm skin. We made sure she knew we were there and we Loved her. They finally let us hold her more bc the Jaundance was finally coming down some, we were soo happy. One of the lactation nurses continued to help us with nursing and decided using a shield would probably help us out. It was a Godsend , she immediately knew what to do and it helped so much with the latching. This definately lifted my Spirits with Nursing.
At the end of the second day they said they would take her off the Billie lights just to make sure that it wouldnt spike up again. Thank goodness it continued to drop over night without the lights. On Wednesday we meet with the Doctor and he explained that Stella's weight was good and she was back up to 6lbs 2oz and her Jaundance numbers were remarkably lower. He also explained if she continued to improve by the afternoon review then we could take her home. HOOAH :) We were thrilled. We even had a foot doctor ( can't remember the exact name here) come and check out her feet. He said , it was nothing to worry with and that it was postional due to her being squished in my womb. He showed us a few excersises to do daily to help work them straight. By this time, you could barely even tell that they looked different. It was soo good to hear POSITIVE NEWS finally.
After waiting patiently all day, we were finally checked out and were able to take our little girl home for good. We were very impressed with the care, the staff, the nurses, the doctors and everyone at the Loma Linda Hospital. They were all excellent and friendly, she couldn't have been in a better place.
She was 6 days old when we left and on our way home we took her to Chilis our favorite Resturante :)
Stella has done so well. She was a little slower at gaining weight than most babies her age. But she's happy & healthy now and thats all that matters. I also stuck with breast feeding and I supplemented with formula when needed. Finally she got the hang out of it without using the shield!! Woohoo :) I can't believe she's almost 6 months, and also that Im just now sharing our story :) WE are soo Blessed and soo Thankful!
After two months she emerging her personality, she was more alert and able to do things. She has continued to progress so well. She went from smiling to laughing. She hated tummy time so much that she learned how to roll to get on her back. Now she rolling all over the place and doing this weird back arch scoot crawl on the floor. Shes starting to sit up without assistance for a little bit and she loves standing while holding on to our hands. I suspect we will have a crawler before to long. Time to baby Proof everything!!
Hope you enjoyed our Birth Story!!
Were caught up to date now so I'll keep you updated on Miss Stella and whatever comes to mind :)
One of our 1st family photos
Santa baby
Aunt Hill
proud daddy
Posing
our 1st Base ball game
Easter 2012
.JPG)
